A religious post...

Recently I participated in a religious discussion on a message board, and I thought it would be nice to post my musings here. I was raised (albeit haphazardly) as a catholic, and reverted to atheism at the age of about 7. At the age of 19, I realized that stranger things have happened in my own largely insignificant life than the existence of a higher power, and I decided it would be an interesting intellectual exercise to give believing in one a try. I found it to be a healthy and rewarding lifestyle and so I have kept with it. I identify as a Christian because I use the bible and enjoy christian sermons, but I suspect most christian sects would find they don't have as much in common with me as I see myself as having in common with them.

Here is what I wrote....


In my book, the only rule I believe god cares if I follow is that I be good to myself and others to the best of my judgment and ability. I don't believe that he would turn his back on me unless I failed to do that.

At that point, someone asked me the following...

"If what you say here is true, then you should abandon your God in favor of a more righteous self. "

And here was my response...

That would be silly, since in my opinion the most righteous thing you can do is forgive those who fail as long as they are doing their absolute best. At least in a spiritual sense, it's not as though I think we shouldn't have prisons-- though I believe in them more from either a rehabilitative standpoint OR a separation-from-society-as-a-safety-measure standpoint rather than punishment.

Another asked...

"What does 'good to myself and others to the best of my ability and judgment' mean, please? No offense intended, I just want to know. Good is a very complicated subject!"

And here was my response...

It's a good question! I am not offended at all. I believe, personally, that when I encounter an ethical or moral situation, it is my spiritual responsibility to honestly evaluate what I think is the "right" thing to do-- it is so vague and there are so many varying factors it is difficult to come to a concrete correct answer, all I can do is use my best judgment and decide and hope for the best. I think that as long as I do that, my god will support me even if it turns out I have made a mistake. In my mind, the only way to make god turn away from you is for you to purposefully turn your back on righteousness-- which, to me, would mean to knowingly do something to wrong another (or yourself) and not attempt to make things right upon realizing a mistake. There are people who do this all the time. I don't believe that god approves of them doing that, and that in order to have god's support they need to fix their ways. Though, I think you'd have to be a deeply evil person for him to forsake you altogether. That's just my opinion.

When I was growing up, I was taught that the catholic god is a just and loving god and all you have to do is ask for forgiveness and he will forgive your sins, but if you're late to catechism, don't go to mass, don't raise your children as catholic, sleep with someone of the same sex, etc etc then you are going to hell. Those concepts seemed mutually exclusive to me, and I think it is much harder to end up in hell than that-- I'm not even sure if I believe in hell. I think those sorts of concepts are constructs designed by the church to manipulate the masses, I don't believe god would truly behave in that way. It contradicts everything else we are taught about him, which is what led me to atheism as a child to begin with. I don't think god would begrudge me doing what I truly and honestly believe is the right thing. I think it is much more righteous to do that than to follow some book to the letter. He gave us brains and consciences and hearts because he wanted us to use them. I believe that is a large part of what makes up the soul, and to follow them is honoring the soul he gave you. It is not easy to defy the sense of others, especially those in authority, in order to do what you believe deep in your soul is the right thing to do. It is a lot easier, for most, to go with what you are told without considering for yourself what you believe god would want you to do based on your relationship with him. I think god wants us to step up to that challenge.

ETA:

In response to this segment of conversation...

"At that point, someone asked me the following...

"If what you say here is true, then you should abandon your God in favor of a more righteous self. "

And here was my response...

That would be silly, since in my opinion the most righteous thing you can do is forgive those who fail as long as they are doing their absolute best. At least in a spiritual sense, it's not as though I think we shouldn't have prisons-- though I believe in them more from either a rehabilitative standpoint OR a separation-from-society-as-a-safety-measure standpoint rather than punishment."

I received this response...

"You forgot to mention how what you would do is related to how anything god want done. Which is what your quoted text in my post implied."

And here is how I replied...

"I just think the only thing god wants me to do is to do my best to do good for myself and others, as defined in my previous post. I organize fundraisers for nonprofits that need it, I volunteer, I advocate for those that can't, and I lend a hand to anyone that needs it as much as I can. I have devoted my entire life and professional career to public service, at a great cost to myself, and strive to find ways to do more. I hold myself to a high moral standard in my daily interactions with people and with the world around me in an attempt to respect and support all of god's creations. I believe that is what he wants from me. I believe he wants me to do anything I can do to leave this world a better place than it was when I was born into it. I believe that is what we are born to do. Anyone else is welcome to believe whatever they want."

That is all for now.

"Imagine if you asked her to be responsible for turning your oven off at 3pm. She's going to be in your house all day anyway, and all she has to do is turn the oven off at 3pm. You can't ask anything else of her for that day. She has to remember to turn the oven off at 3, so she can't possible go anywhere, do anything, etc. because she has this job she has to do at 3pm."

That sounds a bit like my life. Only I have to do eighteen million things a day anyway so I just end up screwing up half of them because I can only remember to do one thing at a time, and even if I have a list to remind me and go one item at a time, I still get stressed out and bogged down and eff half of them up. I wish my only job were to turn the oven off at 3pm. I feel like then I would feel normal. Which is really not normal at all and doesn't bode well for my future productivity. Well, crap.

I still don't know what think think of autism in Spain, however, my professor is IGNORING all the emails from my advocate at the disabilities office as she tries to set up accommodations for me. THIS IS A PROBLEM. Ugh.

Award!

Today I found out that I am going to be awarded a Certificate of Appreciation at the Neubacher Award Ceremony in October, for creating a supportive community for students with learning differences.

It's pretty cool! Especially since at the time nominations were happening, all I had done was start the LDSA. Since then I've been working on cofounding a group specifically for people on the spectrum, and this Fall I am kicking off a new student mentoring program for freshmen and transfer students with disabilities. A big event with all kinds of LD experts coming to speak to dispel myths about LDs in academia is in the works, too. I wish I could make this kind of thing my job. I don't think I am ever going to find something more important to do than what I am doing right now.

I guess I finally figured it out. THIS is why I came to the University of Michigan.