I am going through a workbook for young adults with HFA, which is designed to help you identify your strengths and weaknesses, and your goals, and to help you work with those strengths and weaknesses to achieve your goals. (Asperger's Syndrome A Users Manual 2 for Older Adolescents and Adults, by Ellen S. Heller Korin M.Ed) I am finding it to be highly enlightening, but at the same time it is annoying. In order to meet some of my goals, I have to learn how to not seem autistic. I have to learn how to pretend. But one of the best parts of finding out about my autism is that the pressure to pretend to be something I am not is lifted, at least to some degree. I still must not behave like an asshole, but I don't have feelings of guilt and inadequacy because of my "weirdness" anymore. I feel like now I have a license to be weird without having to feel bad about it, if that's what I am, and apparently that IS what I am. There are some areas of weakness that I do need to work on, like time management and impulsivity. But making myself dress in ways that I think are stupid and talk in ways that feel strange to me just to get neurotypical people to like me? That just seems to go against everything we are brought up in this society to believe about self esteem. I thought others were supposed to accept me, not that i have to TRAIN myself to be "normal" so those around me will find me less repulsive. I don't understand. I am sure I will have to meet in the middle somewhere in order to be successful person, but I don't know where that middle is or how to find it.